??????? is it 2014 or fucking 1414? does the book have to be handscribed by monks and put on a ship from europe to come to the americas? does a courier have to wait for the spring thaw to navigate the treacherous rivers and roads to my city? did i order this on my laptop or did i just chip my credit card details into a stone block and throw it down the mountain? am i even going to be able to turn the pages or has our species not yet crawled out of the goddamn oceans and evolved opposable thumbs??????????